Giving My Will

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The bag of tea I had this morning was sporting the following phrase:

"When the mind is backed by will,

miracles happen."

Will is a forceful, albeit misunderstood thing.

This is an interesting concept to me, and one that I think about quite a lot lately.  Especially because "my will" is something important to me, even critical to my view of living a successful, prosperous life. 

Sometimes, my will is to push forward with absolute solidarity against my goals and to create meaning and measurable progress.

Othertimes, no matter what comes out of my mouth, or I think is being settled in my mind, my will seems to be something else—something foreign to my brain and my rational mind.

At earlier times in my life, I realize that I would just do …things.  Things that, on the surface, seemed against my will, even though closer inspection revealed, of course, the opposite.

As a man, in a capitalist nation, with some sort of entrepreneurial spirit and the responsibility of breadwinner to my family, I have to exert my will in the pursuit of taking care of my daily obligations.  I’ve been on both sides of this two-edged sword we call the American Economy. It’s a tough, tough business, but there’s no better opportunity anywhere in the world, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But, spiritually, I am faced with the juxtaposition to yield my will, to hold off on my own desires, to delay my fulfillment and gratification, and to say to God, "not mine, but thy will be done."  I won’t pretend this hasn’t created challenges for me in my mind and deep in my soul, and even heartache for those closest to me.

Yet, I’m 35 today, and fully inhaling deeply the thrilling oxygen of a brand new life.

I’m happier and more fulfilled than I have ever been right now, mainly because of a single choice I made 16 months ago to "give my will" fully and completely to God and, as a Christian, to Christ.

I find serenity and peace in this decision, and I literally reaffirm that choice every day. It grounds me, lifts me, and comforts me.  It challenges me, urges me and propels me forward into the glistening light of each new dawn.

This week marks a significant milestone in my path to Christ, one which I will never forget and always, always remember as long as I live, and I hope my daughters will never let these lessons die in their memory and in the memories of their daughters and sons and their daughters and sons.

And so it is, as unorthodox as it may sound, I have actually found more peace and happiness and real joy in my life when I finally submitted my will to God.

And, when I chose to give it away—willingly—and put all my effort behind it,

          yes,

                      I have found miracles.

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