Unexpress Checkout

Point-of-Sale systems hate me.

I try to do my duty as a consumer and deal with the anti-care, "self-checkout" robots, built mysteriously similar to "one-armed bandit" style casino games.

… Except, at casinos, there's a chance you might get money back.

My most-awkward problem with any transaction these days is navigating the credit-card scanner/pin-number-entry/would-you-like-to-donate-$2-to-the-march-of-dimes/please-swipe-your-card-at-any-time teminals.

First, I swipe the card too soon (though it says to swipe anytime).

Then I press the wrong button to declare a credit transaction, not debit one (so I have to start over).

Then, I decline the offer for a donation or enrollment in some "loyalty" program.

Finally, I have to successfully find the "OK" button to authorize the amount to be charged (which I usually get wrong because I've said "no" to everything else I've been asked (or pitched) in the preceeding 5 minute transaction.

And then I can sign the receipt, apologize to the 9 people in line behind me, and leave.

Quickly.

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